


Figures of Speech

by Moirin De Clermont (Slayer87)



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, First Kiss, First Time, I didn't mean too it just happened, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Oliver is as much an over thinker as Elio we just don't hear him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28798029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slayer87/pseuds/Moirin%20De%20Clermont
Summary: Falling for Elio was like trying to resist gravity. He could fight it, and he did for quite some time, but he knew he would never win.
Relationships: Oliver/Elio Perlman
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Figures of Speech

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a character study from Oliver prospective right after their first night together. It was not meant to be so sad and angsty but blame Oliver for it.  
> Also, this is for my best friend, who asked me to write something about this pairing. I hope you like it!

The first light of dawn was coming through the window.

Oliver was still awake, not having slept a little after… _after_ -

He did want to sleep, but his mind was racing, and his heart was probably not back to normal still. Plus, there was a seventeen-year-old who was trying to murder him in his sleep, if he was sleeping, of course.

It was clear that Elio was satisfied or comfortable or a mix of both since he was taking up all the place in the bed, sleeping like a baby and occasionally giving him a well-placed knee or some other articulation straight into his stomach. It happened twice: the second time Oliver checked if his partner? Lover? If he was not trying to get rid of him.

A part of him found even that adorable, but truth to be told Oliver found pretty much everything about Elio adorable.

When he arrived in Italy, he hoped something would happen to take away the thought of his impending marriage back home, but he did not think about this.

_Be careful what you wish for_ , his old man told him once, and that was probably one of the few cases where his father was right about something.

He did wish for it. Oliver was captivated by Elio since probably the first time – well, the second time, the first time did not count because he was so jet-lagged, but once he was awake and conscious… Right from the start, there was a sort of pull.

Elio was like finding the rarest book. One he could spend life studying it. Analysing every bit of it, every page, cracking its code, trying to understand some ancient language.

Falling for Elio was like trying to resist gravity. He could fight it, and he did for quite some time, but he knew he would never win.

That was dangerous, stupid, and reckless. It would break both their hearts, but how could he stop?

At first, when he thought his attention was not welcome, it was not easy but surely manageable to just let it go. Now, with everything that happened between them, ask him to let it go was like asking him to never be himself again.

When he kissed Elio for the first time, he knew the day of his death. Or at least the spiritual one, because there was no way he could come back to his life in the states... marry, have kids, without feeling empty inside.

A few men had the privilege to know where their life was going to end. Oliver wanted to take advantage of that knowledge and living as fully as he could for some days, for the time he had left.

Like a because following its why, he was draught to Elio. Fight what was going to happen between them was like trying to change the rule of a language… you could bend them if you were good enough, but they were the base, just as Elio was his own foundation.

And yes, language sometimes is not fitting for describing human emotions, especially when one is experienced. Too intense, too raw… the only thing he could do was cherish the memory of it in the deepest part of his soul.

He was familiar with sex. He would say he was even good at it… at least nobody complained. But everything he had experienced was nothing in comparison to what Elio and he did a few hours before.

It was not the best sex he ever had. It was clumsy, at some moments even awkward.

And yet, in every touch, in every kiss, they were forging a connection, a bond, something that would link them for the rest of their life.

They were two words, separated only by the distance of a single space, a single breath between them.

Would he tell these things to Elio, afterward? Probably not. If there was a chance that Elio would grow and find his happiness, Oliver was not the kind of man that wanted Elio ruined for good, not even for a scratch of the joy he would have to say those things to Elio.

No. He would give Elio the best time of his life, and then he would leave. He already knew he would regret it for the rest of his life, but it was already too late for him.

Tears felt in his eye and Oliver did not even think of stopping them. When Elio was going to wake up, he would come back to his usual self. Maybe even go swimming.

But in the quiet space between the end of the night and the beginning of the day, Oliver recognized he sacrificed his soul for a chance of love. And he knew he was going to be forever glad he did it.

The End


End file.
